So, i've been extremely tired as of late, and its all because i don't sleep. At least not nearly as much as i should.
my typical day starts about 11:15am and used to go til about 4am but lately its been 5 or 6.
heres my typical night:
9pm : get off work. hmm, i need cigarettes and something to drink, time to stop at rutters.
10pm: ahh, its good to be home, i wonder if there's anything new on tv tonight
11pm: heh, well, that was a good episode of (fill in the blank), wonder what else is on
12am: (browsing torrents) ugh, theres nothing new that i'm interested in. hmm... lemme check this out (goes to ign.com, amazon.com, ebay, gamestop, rolling stone). ooh, i wanna see if i can find this
1am: ah, that was yummy. oh yeah! i got new music to put on my ipod! (hook up the ipod) ah, there we go. hmm, i should see if i can get a level or 2 in in (insert game here)
2am: god damnit, all these facebook posts are crap. doesn't anyone have anything interesting to say anymore? wow, these video cards are amazing but fuck they're expensive. i wonder if theres any cheap apartments available in mechanicsburg?
3am: should probably think about going to bed soon... hmm... i need a shower... naw, it can wait. oh theres a new podcast! i wonder if this site has any replicas of this sword i'm looking for, i miss my sword collection. ugh, i need to do dishes... eh, they can wait too.
4am: yeah, should definitely be going to bed now... ah fuck, i REALLY need to do the dishes, ah, it shouldn't take long (does dishes). ok i'm gonna smoke one more cigarette and get to bed.
5am: wow, that game was great, i'm glad i use stumbleupon otherwise i may have never have found that... damn, its late, i should go to bed.... well, lemme watch some porn and i'll be off to bed
6am: i wonder if michelle would like any of these? ugh, its been almost a year and a half and i still don't even know what she likes, i'm such a shitty boyfriend... oh, i should check my bank statement... yeah thats what i thought. hmm, should add up all my bills... yeah, that math sucks. jesus its late, why am i still up? one more cigarette and its bed time.
7am: well, i have one cigarette left and the suns coming up... do i smoke this now and wait til i'm on my way to work to buy more or just go to bed and smoke it in the morning... ugh, damn i need a drink... i'm hungry but i should probably wait.... ooh, lemme check to see if theres any new you tube posts.... fuck i NEED to go to bed... UGH, fine i'll go to bed....
and thats my EVERY night. obviously not EVERY night, it changes daily, but its all the same random assortment of things that my mind floats to. its like i have no focus at all and my mind wanders, all the while, regardless of HOW tired i was during the day, i have no signs of fatigue at all at night. i'm just.... up. sometimes i get sleepy during the night, and i go to lay down, and its almost like as soon as i get horizontal, i wake right back up.
i try to fight it, i try to change it, but... that usually ends up with me lying in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep and getting more and more aggravated.
and here we go again... time right now is 5:03am, i need to be at work by 12:30, not the slightest bit tired, need to take out the trash, but... here i sit. will probably do the trash and watch some more porn and smoke "one last" cigarette before bed which will turn into 4-5 while watching old AVGN videos on youtube.....
